One of the paradoxes of marketing and sales is “monetizing relationships.”

We typically hate to be sold. The harder the sell, the more we hate it. However, we typically like to buy. Any person who has had an experience of spending their own money knows this. Many of us have been blessed to be able to buy something from someone we found ourselves liking.

This is no accident.

On the other side of that transaction, the sales person has to build trust, rapport, peer-to-peer credibility, some level of personal connection. An emotional connection. A relationship, if you like. That goes triple for the B2B complex sale, where a company is buying big-ticket, high-risk items from another company. (I believe that it’s also true in many other types of sales where the stakes are much lower.)

We who are selling stuff need buyers who will confide in us with some candor about their problems. Unless they trust us to understand and help them solve those problems, nothing is going to get bought. At least not from us.

Why would a buyer trust me [a marketer, sales person, company PR representative, executive leader, etc]? Because he or she believes at some level I am willing and able to act in their interests as well as, and possibly even counter to my own (at least in the short term). There’s some human vulnerability going on. They tell me what’s really going on, and I tell them what I really can and can’t do to address their situation. Because we have a relationship.

Now, in addition to all of this, the sales person is also on the hook to monetize that relationship.

How can I maintain your trust (which implies vulnerability) and still do things that move you toward buying something from my company (which implies control)?

If you’ve ever wondered why so many startups fail, it’s because selling is a lot harder than it looks. Most startups are not run by people who can sell. And sales (including repeat business from happy customers) are what keep companies in business.

If you ever wondered why great sales people make a lot of money, it’s because the ability to monetize a relationship is worth a lot of money.

Related posts:

1. Relationships vs. Markets: 5 differences between sales and marketing
2. People won’t buy what they don’t know about. Or will they?
3. 3 differences between social media & F2F relationships:
4. Marketing voodoo…the fluff formerly known as collateral…and why we made the logo blue.
5. 6 Reasons People Can’t Tell What You Do Even After Reading Your Website

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